Several weeks back you may have heard that Hello Kitty, the character developed by the Japanese company Sanrio, was not a cat. According to her company of origin, she is a British schoolgirl. Most likely, this is not news to you. Pardon the late reporting– I know you rely on me for the most cutting edge posting. I will pare the excuses down to three words, potty training twins.
Anyway, the reality of Hello Kitty caused quite an uproar. Headlines like Hello Kitty is not a Cat. Everything is a Lie. and Hello Kitty is Not a Cat Because Nothing Makes Sense Anymore were front and center on the internet. I had to read for myself.
For forty years, Hello Kitty had been strutting her little white stuff with that chipper bow in her hair and is actually an imposter. A British schoolgirl in Kitty’s clothing, if you will. Updated reports on the Huffington Post indicate that while Hello Kitty is not a cat in that she uses a litter box and eats cat food from a can, she is “the personification of a cat.” Yes, I think we get it. I mean, what’s next, Kermit is not a frog, he is Italian accountant?
So far, my reaction falls in line with the masses. But, what bothers me about this event, phenomena or whatever you wish to call it has yet to be stated. What is most striking to me is that this entire chain of internet uproar was set off by a person called a Hello Kitty Scholar. In Vanity Fair Daily, Surprise! Hello Kitty is not a Cat, the author refers to Hello Kitty Scholar Christine Yano.
Wait. Hello Kitty Scholar? A job exists where one spends their time studying Hello Kitty? Let’s not fool around here, Ms. Yano has quite a distinguished background, certainly not the pedigree I would have if I were a Hello Kitty Scholar. In my case, I’d probably still be living with my parents and sporting my high school hairdo.
Speaking of high school, where on earth was this job choice at my High School Career fair? I can recall being guided toward teaching, nursing…but hey Jill, when you grow up, you could be a Hello Kitty Scholar–never happened.
I imagine essay topics like The Hair Bow that Never Moves, or Why doesn’t Hello Kitty have a mouth? written in bright pink ink. Hello Kitty notebooks would have been mandatory and textbooks would have been purchased at the mall. I know I would have remembered the day I learned about Hello Kitty as a career opportunity.
And I probably would have remembered the day I went home and told my parents that I was going to be a Hello Kitty Scholar. My parents were pretty flexible and supportive, but I think even they would have had difficulty wrapping their minds around that one. I guess everything turned out for the best.